Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Greatest of These is Love.

The wind howls through a crack in my window. The truth woke me up today.

Love. Endures long and is patient and kind; Love is never envious, nor does it boil over with jealousy. It isn’t haughty or boastful or vain. It isn’t conceited or rude. It doesn’t insist on its own rights or its own way because it is not self seeking: and because of this, it isn’t fretful or resentful. It never holds a grudge in fact, it doesn’t even pay attention to a suffered wrong. It doesn’t rejoice at injustice but rejoices when RIGHT and TRUTH prevail.

The truth woke me up today. The truth that Love is everything. Without Love, anything I say and do and believe in the name of God is obnoxious. It’s a clanging cymbal.

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes. I brace myself on Love, and I lean in and on this Love, no matter what comes. Because Love never fails or passes away.

As for prophecy- the gift of being able to interpret the divine will and purpose of things- It will be fulfilled and pass away.

As for tongues- they will be destroyed and cease.

As for knowledge- It will lose its value and be superseded by truth.

Our knowledge is filled with holes. It’s fragmented and incomplete. Our prophecies and our teachings are also imperfect.

Love remains. Love is the greatest of these. Without Love I am nothing.

For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim reflection of reality. What I know now is only IN PART of what I will know later. What I know now is imperfect.

-1 Corinthians 13: 4-13

Thank God for his word. I don’t have to live frantically grasping for truth. I don’t have to be stuck in the void of the unknown, without the voice of God to tell me what to believe or what the truth is. His word is the only path to take. He speaks through His word.

LOVE is the greatest of all gifts. (1 Corinthians 13:13)

This is what I know God says. “Pursue and seek to acquire this Love. Make it your great quest and your total aim.”

What a perfect Easter gift. What a glorious hope to stand on. Love was made for me. And it's no wonder...

Perfect Love casts out fear.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Windows of Light.

"And there will be a time, you'll see, with no more tears.

And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

Get over your hill and see what you find there,

With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair."

Mumford & Sons

I am overflowing with the GRACE it takes to love myself well.

I get up at dawn, go to the window, and search my heart. In windows of light I search myself. Slowly, slowly, I've learned the Grace it takes to know, respect, accept, and love the status of my soul.

God's sheer Grace over my head is a veil to help me hear the whisper from a mouth pressed against my ear: "Behold! Behold! The old has passed away, and the new has come."

"See now, I am doing a new thing! See how it now springs forth? For I am making a way in the wilderness and rivers in the dessert."

I will be.
I am in.

Windows of Light.

(Andrew Edwards and Elly Kaiser)
{b.rees creative}

I know that those who sow in tears will reap, and reap, and keep on reaping joy. I am thankful, I am grateful that I have sown in devastation and confusion, because now my heart is awash in what I would have never known for sure.

Since ancient times no ear has heard

No eye has seen any God besides You

Who works and shows Himself active

On behalf of those who earnestly wait for Him.


I know what this journey means.

Friday, April 8, 2011

In the moment.

There are times that I

Do Not. Can Not. Will Not.

Feel present.

I am pulled in seven different directions at the same time, whipped back and forth on the rollercoaster of emotional whiplash, super speeding in a typhoon of tangled confusions. It's unfair. Yet in the center of every tornado there is an eye of calm. And in the center of all of my confusions there is The Eye of God, and it's looking right at me. It's a forceful gaze. Fierce. Ardent. And lately, in the force field of madness that I wrap around my swelling heart, that gaze is fixed right on me. Dead center.

Gives me the flips in my stomach.

I'm trying to be a woman after this eye, but frankly, I feel really jipped. "To be a woman of God" sounds great, but I thought the whole process would be like ironing a white dress, spraying that fresh starch on it, and putting it on. Viola! Insta-clean and new and pretty as a church lady on Easter. Frankly it's a lot like kneeling on your hands and knees in the dirt and trying to clean it all up. It's messy, and painful, and rather not like training to be a church lady, but a warrior goddess in leather armor. Yes, with a sword. I'm serious. Luckily, I'm captivated by this process. I was made for it.

Though it hurts to leave

The Old. The Norm. The Secure.

God's making a warrior woman out of me. Meaning: my Affirmation my Blessing my Solid Ground my Intimacy my Femininity my Support my Joy my Purpose my Heart my Perfect Love My Fearlessness. All come from Him alone. The Eye. The Gaze. Without Him, I'm in the mud, cleaning up the mud, dirtier still.

I don't know where He's leading me.

But I'm going to love fearlessly, like He taught me. He's the Author and Finisher of my faith, and He already knows my story, start to finish. All I have to do look right in His eyes, and follow Him. In Love, armored safe.

I never thought

He 'd make me so strong.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Dear Tennessee, I am in Love with you.

This is our new house. We are in love.

Nashville... I covet you.

And I'm quite certain that you're the only one for me.